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It has been ages since I updated this blog~ But today, I found the inspiration to write again!!
Found these poems online and found that it really describes the situation I'm in a few weeks ago. Enjoy!!

now i know (there's no hope)

you don't even know the pain i feel
when i start to question what is real
i know you're the cause
my lust for you gnaws
its way, through my brain
and i'm here, alone standing
by myself, with tears of understanding
rolling down my cheeks

now i know my bended
heart won't be mended
by your love....
no longer will i cry
or ask for help from up above
i don't blame thee
i blame myself for my insecurities

this time i'm really confused
about what i should do
i have this fear of never being satisfied
i can't find stable happiness,
i've tried and tried
this isn't easy,
i'm the butt of my own joke
i want some affection, this is all i hope

now i know my bended
heart won't be mended
by your love....
no longer will i cry
or ask for help from up above
and i'll live my life until i die
wondering if i'll ever be satisfied
it's not easy being the butt of your own joke
i want some affection, this is all i hope

-Derek del Barrio

will i ever love again

will i ever love again
a question on my mind
will i ever love another
like you in this life

if it was meant to be it'll happen
this is what i am told
but i fear i won't find another
and will die alone

will i ever love again
i really miss you now
will i ever love again
thinking about it just brings me down

i wake up at night
with tears in my eyes
my heart starts pounding
and i begin to cry

well it's better to have loved
and i still have my memories
they'll always make me happy
and set my heart at ease

-Derek del Barrio